“What?” I asked blankly staring back at him, “I’m sorry but I thought I just heard you say you were coming back with me?”
“I did say that.” he replied smirking,
I leaned my head forward tilting my chin slightly, ”..to Australia?” I asked lowering my tone,
“That’s the plan!” he strangely chirped,
I stepped one foot backwards and folded my arms, gawping at him, “Okay and when did you decide on this?”
“Erm, just then!” he admitted placing his hands onto each of my arms while smiling, “I thought you’d be happy about this!” he laughed,
Okay. I wasn’t going to lie, of course I was happy with this. It meant that we didn’t have to part our ways, and well, separate our lives from one another. The thought of it excited me, overwhelmed me, but I wasn’t one to be selfish. Zayn already had a thriving and promising career with the boys, I would be a fool to agree with his decision and let him throw all that away just for me. The harsh reality was that we were from two different worlds that simply could not be joined, despite us being joint at the heart. The moment I had been dreading from the very beginning was fast approaching with time clearly not on our side.
He took my silence as a signal to go on, “I’ve always loved Australia y’know? It would be great to live there.” his eyes seeked approval,
“You’re a complete idiot Zayn!” I frowned scratching my head, “Do you even hear what you’re saying right now? You? Live in Australia?” I began to pace in the small spot in front of the both of us nervously, “You belong here Zayn! Your life is here, you just can’t!”
He stopped my pacing as he grabbed my shoulders pulling me to a halt, “No. I belong with you.”
His words although completely cheesy and cliche, still enabled my weakness for him as I sighed and fell into his arms. All I wanted was him. There was only one thing in this world that held all of my happiness and yet it was the one thing that life did not let me have. I didn’t know how we were going to work this out, but him coming with me to Australia was definitely not an option. The only other option left was for me to give up my own career and stay here. But was I willing to give up everything I’ve worked so hard for all of my life for him? The answer should of been obvious but as the question continued to sink in and dwell inside of my mind, it wasn’t as easy to answer anymore.
I pulled myself from his chest and looked up at him, “I don’t know what we’re going to do Zayn,” my facial expression now serious than ever, “but I’m not letting you come back with me. For a holiday yes sure, but not to live Zayn… you know that’s impossible.”
He shook his head cupping mine in his hands, “This isn’t up to you, I’ve made my decision. If moving to Australia is what it takes to keep you by my side, then that’s what I’m going to do.” he leaned closer and kissed my forehead, “I don’t think you realise how much I need you Holly.”
I sighed closing my eyes trying to take in the moment, knowing his words were exact to how I was feeling. The truth was that I needed him just as much as he needed me.
“I honestly can’t see life without you even if it were only a day..” I opened my eyes again meeting his stare, “but I refuse to let you choose me over your career. Over the boys!”
Before he could argue back, the rings of his BlackBerry broke through the tension that had been filling inside of the room. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and answered, still staring at me.
“Hello?” … “Oh Lou, shit, I forgot! I’ll be outside in a sec.” …. “Okay bye!”
He bit his lip and took my hand, “I, erm, forgot we had a meeting with Paul today. I need to get going.” he said stepping backwards a bit while tugging at his earring,
“This conversation isn’t over Zayn..” I spoke softly, staring at the ground,
He shook his head letting go of my hand and walked outside of his room towards the front door as I followed close behind, “It is. This is the perfect opportunity to tell the boys and our manager my decision.”
“What!” I yelled as we reached the front door, “Zayn! No! What the hell, no stop!”
He stared down at me as he pulled on his coat, keys in his hand, “Babe, I’ve made my decision.” I tried to have another word in but he only continued to interrupt, “I’ll call you when the meeting is done and we can grab some dinner okay?” he brought his lips onto mine swiftly placing a quick peck, “I love you.”
And with that he opened the door and left, leaving me standing there speechless and freaking the hell out inside. I had no control over the situation and it frustrated me down to the core knowing how helpless I was. It seemed like there was no possible solution to our problem; like a ‘catch 22’, either way we would both lose. But with the consequence of the fall of our careers, would our love overrule that? Was our love worth it all?
*** Zayn’s POV ***
I was quiet the whole ride to the studios for our meeting. The boys quickly caught on but I insisted I didn’t feel like talking because I was tired and still hung over from the night before. But that didn’t stop their pestering. With last night being nothing but drama filled, their curiosity was on full blast as their endless questions were flying at me left, right and centre in the car.
I eventually gave up and figured I could at least tell them what they wanted to hear and leave the bigger part of the night for later once we reached the studios to see Paul.
“Okay okay boys,” I motioned my hands to calm them down,
“Finally!” Lou rolled his eyes moving closer towards me,
I laughed shaking my head, “All you need to know is that we’re better than ever and well, I mean it when I say I’m going to do whatever it takes to stay with her,”
Lou threw his hands in the air with glee, “That’s my boy!” he shouted, “I told you Harry! Didn’t I tell ya?” he bragged nudging Harry’s side,
“Ow,” Harry whined rubbing his ribs frowning,
“We’re all really happy for ya Zayn we really are,” Niall beamed patting my shoulder,
“I think this calls for a group hug?” Liam suggested leaning in,
“What?” I frowned,
“You got no choice mate!” Lou yelled, bringing all of us together with his arms as the cheeks of our faces squished against one another,
Groans and squeals were the only thing heard for the next couple of minutes but as I finally managed to squeeze out from their hold laughing, I stared back out the window watching the cars go by, “Thanks boys,” I smiled, feeling a heavy burden beginning to build up inside of me,
Moments like this I was sure to miss.
I didn’t know what life would be like without them, I couldn’t even picture it in my mind. They weren’t just my band members nor simply just my friends, even best friends didn’t fit the description; but they were my brothers. Every waking moment for all these years were spent with them by my side. We grew together and experienced the best years of our lives never leaving one of us behind. It was going to be hard to break the news to them that this was the end of the road for me, but I felt it in my heart even though it was breaking, that it was the right thing to do. One Direction was my life, but now Holly had taken that title.
*** Louis’ POV ***
We all jumped out of our van excited to meet with Paul. I had a feeling he had good news to announce and with knowing Zayn and Holly successfully made up, I was completely buzzing.
I looked down at my pocket as I followed close behind Niall and checked my messages for my phone.
Lou! Please give me the address to where you guys are! IT’S IMPORTANT!! x
I tilted my head frowning, more than curious to what she could possibly be on about.
What’s up? Is everything o-
“Louis! Phone. Off. Now!” Paul demanded,
I hadn’t realised we were already in the studios while the boys had already taken their seats.
“A bit feisty today are we Paul?” I grinned patting him on the back,
“Just sit down Lou,” he replied, clearly trying to fight back the smile that desperately wanted to come out,
I let out a laugh and quickly texted back Holly the address and placed myself next to Harry, not being able to sit still, absolutely ecstatic to hear what Paul had to say.
*** Zayn’s POV ***
My heart was racing and nervous jitters were bursting throughout my body. I stared down at my hands, fiddling about with my fingers, replaying over and over in my head how I was going to come out with the news that clearly was not going to go down well at all. I decided that it was best to tell them after Paul’s announcement, so that I had enough time to prepare myself. It honestly almost felt like none of this was real. Never in my life had I imagined that I could voluntarily give up this life for just one girl. It scared me, but at the same time it never felt so right.
“Are you alright Zayn?” Liam whispered, startling me,
I smiled and nodded, turning my head back down to the ground. I just hoped the next couple of minutes wasn’t going to make it harder for me than it already was to say goodbye.
“Alright listen up boys!” Paul said taking place in front of us all, “As you know I’ve got an announcement. Now I didn’t mention how big or small it was, but…”
Typical Paul. Leaving a pause of silence for affect.
Lou popped his head out from the line and grinned at me. I could tell he was the most excited out of all of us.
“C’mon Paul!” Lou whined,
“Alright alright. So for the next 3 months we’ll be touring Asia! Rehearsals start A.S.A.P, which means next week!”
Gasps and yells immediately broke out right on queue as the boys all jumped in excitement. It took far too long for us to have an Asian tour and now that we finally had that chance we were happier than ever.
And then, it hit me.
I sunk lower into my chair and bit my lip. That heavy burden I felt inside earlier was now weighing a tonne.
Lou wrapped his arms around me screeching with joy but toned down as he was quick to realise my faded expression, “Zayn?” he frowned, “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy?”
Lou’s question caught the attention of the rest of the boys as they now began to circle around me. Talk about pressure. It seemed like the moment had finally come and it was either now or never.
“I, erm,” I pulled back my hair to cover my hand shaking, “I can’t go..”
“What do you mean you can’t go?” Lou asked,
I bit my lip again not daring to look one of them in the eye as I stared down at the ground again not remembering my rehearsed lines.
“Zayn?” Liam called as he crouched down to meet my eyes,
I cleared my throat and managed to lock eyes with Niall, out of all the boys, I knew he was the one who was going to take the hit the worst.
I sighed and finally convinced myself to let the words flow out, “I can’t go on tour… I’m.. I’m leaving.”
“What?” the boys spoke in unison,
“Leaving where?” Paul asked walking closer to me frowning,
I knew this was going to be hard but actually being in this very moment, was harder than I could ever possibly imagine and there was simply no preparation that could ever prepare me for it.
With a heart so heavy I gave out the news, “I’m leaving One Direction.”
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- five-homosexuals-paulways said: IF ONLY THIS WAS TRUE, THEY WERE TOURING ASIA :( Hahaha I see your posts appear regularly on my dashboard and you’re probably one of the nicest, most dedicated and talented writer I’ve ever met x
- breakingtableswithmalik posted this