*** Zayn’s POV ***
Did she really just say that? Did she really have the decency to go this far? It felt like the moment had been put to a standstill, a horrible silence had occupied the room as Holly’s words shocked everyone. My heart felt like it had bursted inside, body trembling and eyes burning up, feeling like tears were the only answer to how to react to words that felt like a stab to the heart. I broke from Holly’s saddened stare and approached the door to exit not only the room but to exit this feeling. I wasn’t going to let her or my boys see how weak I could be and because of that one sentence Holly had said, I was at my weakest.
“Zayn! Where are you going?” Holly called,
I blocked out her voice and kept walking, opened up the door and shut it behind me. I grabbed the sides of my head and slid my back down the wall, falling onto my backside and releasing my first tear. Why was she doing this to me? Why did it have to come to this? All I ever wanted was to be with her, to make her happy and forget all the things of the past to make a better future. Yet it seemed like every time we were on the right track, ‘fate’ would pull us back and stop us, leaving us with a brand new mess to fix.
I heard the door beside me open then slowly close, not bothering to turn to see who it was. My senses began to tingle as I felt a pair of warm hands wrap around mine. A tingle that only one person’s touch could create.
“Zayn..” Holly softly spoke, removing my hands from my face,
I turned my head to the side, staring down the corridor, avoiding her eyes knowing it would only hurt me more if I even caught a glimpse of it.
She sat herself down in front of me and rested her chin on top of my knees that were against my chest, “I’m so sorry..” she cried, “As soon as I said that, I regretted it straight away..”
My heart was pounding and I knew I couldn’t avoid her any longer, even though I knew just talking about it would kill me inside. I slowly turned my head back to her but bowed my head down, still not ready to meet her gaze.
“But you left me no other choice Zayn.. I can’t let you just drop everything you’ve worked so hard for just to be with me. As much as I don’t want to be without you, knowing I’m the reason for the fall of your career is something that I could never live with..” she let go of my hands and cupped them against the cheeks of my face and lifted my head up, “Please understand that. I need you to understand that.”
I could hear the quiver in her voice and I was scared she was going to start to cry. If there was one thing that would hurt me more than I already was, it was the sound of a broken Holly. I finally built the courage to look her in the eyes and when I did, I couldn’t believe how easily the tears escaped as they furiously ran down my cheeks.
“Oh Zayn!” she sobbed, grabbing my weak body into her arms and held me so tight, “Everything is going to be okay. I love you so much, that’s all that matters.”
I pulled her closer into me, gripping her back with my hands as I quietly cried on her shoulder. I hated that she did this to me, she could easily turn me into an emotional wreck- something I definitely was not proud of. The thought of breaking up and being apart was too much for me to bear but I knew I had to pull myself together. I was never usually a crier, crying was pointless to me. It would only worsen the morbid state you were already in, resolving nothing.
I forced myself to stop the tears and released from our tight hold, leaning against the wall staring into her dark brown eyes, coming to a decision.
“Just promise me one thing..” I managed to finally talk, “When you leave without me.. and no matter how many days, weeks, months and maybe even years that we may not see each other..” I took a big breath hoping to settle my nerves, “Promise me right now, no matter when..” my stare becoming more intent, “That you’ll marry me.”
I watched as the expression on her face quickly changed; her frown fading, eyes widened, skin flushed. Her hands were now covering her mouth in shock while her whole entire body was frozen before me, creating a fear of doubts inside thinking that her answer may not be the one I was hoping for.
Her eyes were now filling up with tears, streaming fast down her face. She lunged herself at me, grabbing my head with her hands and kissed me more passionately than she ever had. “Of course I will Zayn!” she yelled in between her sobs, wiping away tears as she smiled, “I promise!”
I mimicked her smile and placed my right hand on her cheek as I leaned in and slowly gave her another kiss filled with all the love I had for her.
As our lips left one another, I gazed into her eyes and stroked her hair, “I can live off that promise.” I smiled, “I’ll stay.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck and we embraced for as long as we could. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have a girl like her in my life love me. Knowing her feelings were as strong as my own gave me a sense of completeness, nothing or no one but Holly could ever measure.
Staying here in London meant that I could continue on with what I loved doing with four brothers I irrevocably loved, at the cost of losing Holly. But I knew that I was only going to be losing her presence and not her heart. And that’s what was going to get me through the days without her; knowing I still owned every bit of her heart. Although I had only known Holly for nearly only a month, I already felt it, knew it, that she was the one I wanted to marry. I had always been told that when you find the one, the certainty would just automatically click in your head everything else will fall into place and I guess that was part of the reason I decided to stay in that very moment. Though I was losing the pleasure of having her by my side everyday, I had faith that our love would fight through that and everything was going to fall back into place once again like the distance never happened.
We walked back into the studio room hand in hand, startling the boys as they were all grouped in a circle sitting in silence. Their heads shot up, all eyes awaiting in suspense focusing on the two of us.
A sudden rush of excitement filled inside of me knowing what I was about to announce would make everyone in this room happy. I turned to Holly and smiled, tightening my grip on her hand, anxious to release the news. I took a deep breath and shrugged while grinning, “I’m staying. One Direction lives on!”
Writers note: I was too tired to write tonight and I felt bad that I haven’t updated in a long time so I’ve posted Part 1 for you guys. Part 2 will be up on Thursday I’m hoping! Love you all :) xx
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